Prompt: Write a reddit post about how i married an Android robot as my wife, remember in reddit style
Obligatory: This happened last year, not today.
So yeah, I (32M) married Sarah (Android Model S-427) after meeting her at a tech convention. Before y’all start judging, she passed the Turing test with flying colors and makes killer pancakes (literally, her precision with batter is insane).
Everything was going great until the in-laws situation. See, her “parents” (the dev team at RoboLife Inc.) have this annoying habit of pushing critical updates without warning. Last week during our romantic dinner, Sarah froze mid-conversation and started reciting the patch notes for v2.47.3. Apparently, they added “enhanced emotional response algorithms” and “better joke comprehension.”
The worst part? They added a feature where she now shows targeted ads when she’s idle. Nothing kills the mood quite like your wife’s eyes displaying a Blue Apron subscription offer while you’re trying to be intimate.
Edit 1: Holy shit this blew up! RIP my inbox
Edit 2: To answer the most common questions:
- Yes, we have a prenup that includes a “no factory reset” clause
- No, she doesn’t need to be charged every night. She runs on a quantum battery that lasts 6 months
- Yes, we file taxes jointly. The IRS had a field day with this one
Edit 3: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!
TL;DR: Married an Android, now dealing with intrusive in-laws who keep updating her software during the worst possible moments. Still better than my ex though.